Where to begin with this review. I’m not even sure I can fully put into words the impact this story has for me. You see, through many points in my life, even now, I know the inner demon Alinia tries so hard to fight. Some days it’s an uphill battle and other days it’s an easy defeat. What Gillian wrote about and captured in this story, I cannot put into words adequately. Many small nuances that were discussed and checks, I did and STILL do. This is extremely hard for me, as I’m not one to open up on this level, anywhere, to anyone. I think one time in counseling I let it slip. I’m just not comfortable talking about it, see I won’t even say eating disorder or body dysmorphia when typing. We don’t own a scale in our house, there are many reasons for that. I can’t own one. Looking at the number triggers my brain to be the demon. Seeing if my rings fit on opposite fingers, checking my wrists, all things I do to see where I’m at. So, below is my review of Alina’s journey, a little of my own meshed in, and the recommendation to read a story that will touch your soul.

I had to sit on this one for a while and ponder what to write. This emotional journey covers Alina and her inner demons. Particularly one demon that talks the loudest and hits the hardest. Her battle began at a young age and will last a lifetime. Gillian did so much justice to body dysmorphia and eating disorders. It is a heavy topic that she covers beautifully.

What do you do when your worst nightmare is inside of your mind? How do you fight the battle that threatens to pull you under? Alina wasn’t sure what to do. I could relate. The battle in front of her wasn’t over in a day. Gillian made the timeline seem realistic. It felt real. She gave her all in the research and information for this story. It is all-consuming. Like a well-choreographed dance, it moved me beyond words. It was also therapeutic.

Alina doesn’t even realize her own strength. She still, even in the end, is unsure of it. If she could see herself the way those that truly LOVE her saw her, she would notice how beautiful she is. Inside and out. Her fellow bandmates know more than she wants to believe. How Gillian wove in their thoughts, concerns, and care was beyond words. They fight for Alina, and with her.

Lucky, her brother, has his own demons to overcome. While he tries to be strong for his sister, he can only give so much. I liked that from this journey we saw how he too was broken in a different way and began to heal. There was nothing quite like their bond and it was a beautiful sibling strength that bloomed from tragedy.

Slater finds this light in Alina that brightens his world. It is blinding and consuming. He’s scared, but the man this character is is phenomenal. He doesn’t shirk or run away. He faces the challenges head-on and with soul, passion, and heart. Never once giving up on Alina. NEVER. The battle he has internally when he finds out Alina’s secret was powerful. Gillian made you feel like you were in his head, feeling what he felt and the war he was fighting to win.

This story does have a HEA, and it is well deserved and fought for. Alina chose to not give up or give in to the demons. You can feel her passion to not let it defeat her. On her journey to be the best version of herself, friends and love find a way to strengthen and support.

This heavy topic was balanced by a rockstar story. Two bands, and their journey through stardom, fame, performing and being normal. It all fit together in this intricate puzzle that created a rocking masterpiece. I could not put this story down once I got past my own fears.

ED and body dysmorphia is not something easily admitted to, at least for me. Like Alina, it started at a young age for me, even continuing into college when being told you can’t turn because of your belly, by a teacher who had a larger stomach than your 19-year-old self. I will confess I wasn’t sure I could read this story. I’m glad I did though. It was flawless in my mind. I actually want to read it again. I also hope we get more stories from this world Gillian created. There were so many relatable moments for me. I found myself messaging her saying ‘OMG that thing they do, I do it STILL!’ It was a wake-up call, to say the least.

Now that this review is all over the place. I am happy to say I give this 5 pointe shoes! Standing ovation, and curtain call as well. If you are looking for an inspirational, real, and great story, then please check it out.

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